HOW THE WORD "STOP" CAN HELP YOU WIN
By Vic Braden
It's common for me to consult with young competitive players, and their parents, regarding negative responses to particular situations in tennis. All tennis players could use a system to avoid sabotaging their own potential success. For example, there are many children who completely fold when they feel they have been cheated on line calls. Drs. Leslie Drozd and Kara Cross use the "Stop" technique to help children who make critical decisions that are not in their best interest. I found that this psychological tool is just as valuable in competitive play.
Here's how the "Stop" program works in everyday life. A young person is about to make a decision to enter a car filled with several classmates who have been drinking. This person has been taught to say "Stop! What is the best thing that can happen here, and what is the worst potential scenario?" The youngster can quickly recognize that there is a possibility he/she could be killed in a bizarre accident. This program has saved many children from catastrophic endings.
Let's take a look at how this can work in a tennis match. You've just encountered a cheater who knows how to hook you on key points. Your normal response is to get angry and that often causes the brain to send the wrong messages to your muscles. That results in poor strokes and often an undeserved loss. I teach my students to say "Stop", what is the best and worst thing that can happen here? The best thing that can happen is that you don't sabotage your own game. You have the right to ask for an umpire for your match. Secondly, you have learned that you have control over your responses. No one can "make" you angry. You have chosen to get angry and to sabotage your chances of winning. When you say "Stop", and think about the worst scenario, it's not a pretty picture. First, you allowed someone to control your behavior, and (2) you normally lose the match.
As a licensed psychologist, it's sometimes difficult to convince people that all behavior has it's rewards. "How can I be rewarding myself for generating behavior that results in a loss?" is often the question I'm asked. There are usually some rather deep psychological reasons, but here's one common scenario. First, you are convinced that the only reason you lose is because you've been hooked on line calls. This allows you maintain a sense of control over your self-esteem. This type of player often fails to go deeper in the thought process to understand that he /she has actually given up control to the cheater.
Young players who have low self-esteem often sabotage a potential victory by finding a reason to lose. It's a very successful process because it verifies to the player that he/she is really a lousy player, or person. Historically, this young player has been told over and over again how unimportant and unsuccessful he/she has been in life. Thus, the person takes the opposite approach and says, "You're right; I am lousy and I can prove it". This stops one's stomach from churning because the outcome is already known.
Tennis is supposed to be a beautiful, and fun, experience, but it is used by dysfunctional families to verify self-worth, or a lack thereof. What a pity. The next time anyone, even a family member, attempts to establish a negative environment to hurt you, just silently say "Stop".
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Vic Braden Tennis College
With more than 52 years of teaching sports science, Vic
Braden is one of the tennis world's most highly respected experts. He
has authored numerous best-selling instructional books, produced and
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through his work as a longtime television commentator.
Mr. Braden has been bringing his unique knowledge and expertise to
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